Coffee with the Cats

Self Therapy Anyone?

September 30th, 2024

Burrowing in to a quiet corner of the house, my mind churning with responsibilities, wants, and new ideas. I grab my laptop, sometimes a physical notebook instead, and start spilling – everything and anything pours onto those digital and physical pages. I’m not afraid or ashamed, embarrassed or timid – it’s for me. My mind, my body, my spirit.

Anyone else use writing as your form of self therapy?

I, like many of us, would probably benefit from actual therapy with a specialist, but I enjoy my method at the moment. My struggle is cutting out the time to make it happen more often, like an appointment or a scheduled date with myself. I’ve considered adding it to my calendar but have met internal resistance due to the feel of another obligation. I don’t want to see this practice as an added responsibility or a to-do item. I want to observe and experience it as a ritual.

The ritual: taking the chaos in my mind and narrowing it, focusing it. Drilling down through the layers to the individual words and pasting them on the page in a creative form I deem entertaining. Maybe others will one day too. This focus is a challenge for me and where the therapy aspect presents itself. I’m forced to hit mute and give myself the time and space to think through my experience, thought, and emotion, and how they all braid themselves into my being.

My difficulty with focus is the reason I don’t practice this ritual as often as I would like. I find myself making time for everything else but my self-serving practice. My never-ending to-do list conveniently barges into the forefront of my thought, or I make an excuse that the ambiance at home or elsewhere is not quite suited for my liking. Basically, I’m seeking for the perfect time, every time, but that freedom of perfection is never going to present itself at the time I need it. I need to take back control over my mind and my agenda and remind myself of why I write.

Hence the purpose of this post – to serve as a convenient reminder for myself when I feel my life and my mind pulling away. I hope it serves you as it serves me. Cheers to your next session of therapy.
Stillness in the Chaos

April 12th, 2024

Do you also feel like you’re living in a state of constant chaos?

And just when you get a quick gulp of air, more is tossed on your metaphorical plate of life? Working and cooking and cleaning and grocery shopping and lawn cutting and the occasional work out. That’s just the beginning! How naive was I in college thinking full-time working life would be a breeze and that I’d have tons of time to do what I want?

It doesn’t make it better that I’m a “yes” woman. I like trying new things, I like challenges, and I like catching up with people I don’t get to see all the time. There can be a stigma around being a “yes” person. However, it’s given me plenty of great opportunities, so, to me, saying “yes” isn’t the worst thing. And my saying “yes” wasn’t so much to please people as it was to force myself to do things I didn’t want to regret not doing. Does this stem from the deep existential thoughts I have maybe more often than the average person? Probably. But, I’ve learned it’s how often I said “yes” that clogged up my schedule, my mind, and my life.

So I am considering cutting back. Like, way back. To focus on a deeper level of inner me. I am to a point where some big life changes are happening and the last big unrelated “to-do” item got scratched off my list last week. It was something I was excited to do, but I didn’t realize how much anxiety it was giving me. I’m finally feeling a sense of calm wash over me knowing all I need to focus on now is one thing. That is, for now. But while temporary, I feel relief in myself not taking on more tasks. And I’m trying to be more methodical in my necessary tasks so the time I do have available for other things is more conveniently positioned in my schedule.

Now it’s easy to wish that I didn’t have to work and had all the time in the world, and also had the means to support my true freedom. But that’s not my reality. And if I’m good at anything, it’s being realistic. So appreciating my “off” time more and making more valuable use of it is where we’re headed.

I have issues with the idea of living our lives day in and day out jam packed with monotonous tasks. So when I say more “valuable use”, I want more meaning in what I do. I hope to make and find more opportunities to learn and create something. And help others.

I am also working to find deeper meaning in the tasks that are necessary. Let’s take cleaning for instance. The idea is to shift my mindset from it being a chore to being a way to take care of my home and those I love. Same with cooking. I am fortunate that my husband loves to cook and often does so, but when the responsibility falls on me, rather than seeing it as burden, see it as an opportunity to share a meal while nourishing my body and his.

I believe this is a strong starting point. Now to put this all into practice and wrangle the chaos!
Name with a Meaning

January 21st, 2024

Write about your first name: its meaning, significance, etymology, etc.

Two “c”s, one or two “k”s, or maybe even an “h”…however you spell it, my name of Hebrew decent means to tie firmly or to bind. Make of that what you will.
Typing & Growing

January 20th, 2024

What’s your dream job?

I was never attracted to a fully work from home schedule, but with the idea of growing our family, it sounds more and more enticing. But at the same time, sitting in front of a computer all day distresses me. I am always one to be out in the yard or planning my next garden bed, so in an ideal world, I would love to work a small farm and sell produce at a farmer’s market or sell to local restaurants. But being more practical given our available land and resources at the moment, landscape or garden design might be interesting (though this would require more work out of the house), or blogging and freelance writing of all kinds is appealing as long as I can break the day up and work when it is convenient for me. I am not blind to ghe fact that any job will have its boring or irritating moments, but I believe my drive and motivation for these options would keep me inspired and chugging along for a while!
Stop the Poisoning

January 19th, 2024

If you could un-invent something, what would it be?

Synthetic pesticides and insecticides. Imagine if pests and insects were driven out in naural ways by introducing predators and listening to the needs of the land. We wouldn’t be paying three times the cost for organic food, our planet’s soil and water health would be much less of a concern, and local, regenerative permaculture – buried in your backyard, in neighborhood farm plots, and in the middle of the city – would be the norm. Or at least in a perfect world I’d like to believe so.
Catch All

January 16th, 2024

Where can you reduce clutter in your life?

My mind! If it’s not my next endeavor, it’s planning a trip, a garden, or a home design. Of course there’s some snooping around online, but I’m frugal and buy very little. Add a dose or two of work thoughts and stress, followed closely by sweet reminders of my beloved husband. And our cats!

This is just a moment in time of everything going through my mind. The challenges, struggles, wants and needs, habits, ambitions, desires, and love.
Life Living

January 15th, 2024

As we’re closing out the holiday season, there’s a feel of renewal in the air. But throughout the holidays, work tells us to take time to spend with family and friends, yet I felt no break and no release from normal. I tried to reduce the stress and tension by enjoying my lit Christmas tree and candles during my couple hours at home, but found myself to be chugging along like our 9 to 5 is the most important thing. And here we are already tearing down our decorations.

I don’t want to be a pessimist. I am most surely a realist at heart. But I find that I am regularly reminding myself to see the brighter side. Fortunately, the cusp of the new year has me in lighter spirits, new mindsets, and desires for the year to come.

I have always been one to occupy all of my free time with school, work, and activities (for myself and others), and have grown to dislike spending an entire day “doing nothing”. I’ve written more on this in my previous post, Progressing Unproductivity, but I would encourage many others like me to not occupy all of your free time and to allow yourself time to play and discover. And if you can manage the time to do this while still in school – while you are young and still figuring out what you like and want – even better.

Let yourself live, and experience, and find what you love as soon as you can in life. But regardless of whether you found your thing, don’t let that stop you from trying others, and finding your drive, your continued purpose, and daily motivation because that is what will drive you through when times get monotonous and stressful. And your normal will grow to become more favorable.
Caught up in My Head

January 2nd, 2024

What are your biggest challenges?

I do feel that I am okay physically and financially. I am comfortable and healthy, and these aspects of myself do not keep me up at night, not that anything does (!), but I don’t spend much time dwelling on either of these.

My greatest challenges are my mental challenges with my career and what I want out of life. I am always wanting to better myself and love trying new things. So I am constantly brewing up new ideas of things and endeavors I want to try rather than focusing on what I do have and growing that. I do think my issue really comes down to focus and mental discipline, but we have a whole life to live and I struggle with the idea of having to do the same thing for a full career!

I’m also finding I am very self analytical and never take a question at face value!
I Forgot to Be a Big Kid

January 2nd, 2024

Do you play in your daily life? What says “playtime” to you?

In all honesty, I didn’t think play was a common personal experience, but the more I think about it, I am overlooking a lot. I associate playtime with kids around and being mentally and emotionally at ease. But even without the laughter of kids, I definitely have moments like that throughout my weeks. My husband and I are sometimes like two big kids laughing and joking around. And I often treat our cats like kids and dance around the house with them! But also, learning taekwondo in a class full of kids sometimes feels like play.

As I continue to dwell on this now (a sincere thank you for this prompt), there are many leisure moments at home that I would categorize as play.

I find it fortunate that I associate play with childhood, and I credit that to my memorable younger years. But conversely, unconsciously limiting yourself from acknowledging and embracing play as an adult is sad. As an adult, you are expected to have a certain level of responsibility and upkeep, but that doesn’t mean you have to write off true play. That release of your worries and embrace of fun and innocence is critical even when the day has zapped your motivation and energy. I am going to focus on seeing play for what it is, and delving deeper into its enjoyment when it is happening.
The Approach to My Blog

December 31st, 2023

I am not a skilled orator and often find myself stuttering or stumbling over my words, but when given the chance for another minute to think through my words, I can piece together a decent script and have grown to enjoy the art of writing. Much of my writing history, aside from my original travel blog, has come from work and revolved around technical writing. You’ll find I slip into passive voice quite often as I find it easy to write in this form. I also believe it can be less distracting to the reader, especially when the topic is not story related, but rather meant to be though provoking. I don’t always want to remove the human aspect as this can give life and energy to writing, but it may help block any biases the reader might have of the writer. I could be wrong, but I’m here to experiment and test out what I like and what readers respond to! So you’ll find a mix of everything. Also, my travel blog began to feel very cookie cutter with not much variation in post structure and content type, so for my sake and yours, I intend for Coffee with the Cats to feel more spirited and authentic.

Showing up to this space is also a new challenge for me to be myself and present you with my thoughts, opinions, and experiences. To better practice this along with my writing skills, I am not giving myself the chance to overthink before publishing. Letting words flow freely without my own harsh judgement and self criticism is going to be the starting point.

Please forgive me in advance for any inconsistencies in posting. I do enjoy writing and dream of growing this blog, but I don’t want it to begin feeling like a chore. Somehow at 29 years old with no kids and only one (demanding) job, my free time feels incredibly limited, so my motivation occasionally gets extinguished. But, I encourage you to stick with me as I have a lot more to share and hope to make this as enjoyable for you as it has been so far for me. Thanks for reading!