Do you also feel like you’re living in a state of constant chaos?

And just when you get a quick gulp of air, more is tossed on your metaphorical plate of life? Working and cooking and cleaning and grocery shopping and lawn cutting and the occasional work out. That’s just the beginning! How naive was I in college thinking full-time working life would be a breeze and that I’d have tons of time to do what I want?

It doesn’t make it better that I’m a “yes” woman. I like trying new things, I like challenges, and I like catching up with people I don’t get to see all the time. There can be a stigma around being a “yes” person. However, it’s given me plenty of great opportunities, so, to me, saying “yes” isn’t the worst thing. And my saying “yes” wasn’t so much to please people as it was to force myself to do things I didn’t want to regret not doing.  Does this stem from the deep existential thoughts I have maybe more often than the average person? Probably. But, I’ve learned it’s how often I said “yes” that clogged up my schedule, my mind, and my life.

So I am considering cutting back. Like, way back. To focus on a deeper level of inner me. I am to a point where some big life changes are happening and the last big unrelated “to-do” item got scratched off my list last week. It was something I was excited to do, but I didn’t realize how much anxiety it was giving me. I’m finally feeling a sense of calm wash over me knowing all I need to focus on now is one thing. That is, for now. But while temporary, I feel relief in myself not taking on more tasks. And I’m trying to be more methodical in my necessary tasks so the time I do have available for other things is more conveniently positioned in my schedule.

Now it’s easy to wish that I didn’t have to work and had all the time in the world, and also had the means to support my true freedom. But that’s not my reality. And if I’m good at anything, it’s being realistic. So appreciating my “off” time more and making more valuable use of it is where we’re headed.

I have issues with the idea of living our lives day in and day out jam packed with monotonous tasks. So when I say more “valuable use”, I want more meaning in what I do. I hope to make and find more opportunities to learn and  create something. And help others.

I am also working to find deeper meaning in the tasks that are necessary. Let’s take cleaning for instance. The idea is to shift my mindset from it being a chore to being a way to take care of my home and those I love. Same with cooking. I am fortunate that my husband loves to cook and often does so, but when the responsibility falls on me, rather than seeing it as burden, see it as an opportunity to share a meal while nourishing my body and his.

I believe this is a strong starting point. Now to put this all into practice and wrangle the chaos!