Burrowing in to a quiet corner of the house, my mind churning with responsibilities, wants, and new ideas. I grab my laptop, sometimes a physical notebook instead, and start spilling – everything and anything pours onto those digital and physical pages. I’m not afraid or ashamed, embarrassed or timid – it’s for me. My mind, my body, my spirit.

Anyone else use writing as your form of self therapy?

I, like many of us, would probably benefit from actual therapy with a specialist, but I enjoy my method at the moment. My struggle is cutting out the time to make it happen more often, like an appointment or a scheduled date with myself. I’ve considered adding it to my calendar but have met internal resistance due to the feel of another obligation. I don’t want to see this practice as an added responsibility or a to-do item. I want to observe and experience it as a ritual.

The ritual: taking the chaos in my mind and narrowing it, focusing it. Drilling down through the layers to the individual words and pasting them on the page in a creative form I deem entertaining. Maybe others will one day too. This focus is a challenge for me and where the therapy aspect presents itself. I’m forced to hit mute and give myself the time and space to think through my experience, thought, and emotion, and how they all braid themselves into my being.

My difficulty with focus is the reason I don’t practice this ritual as often as I would like. I find myself making time for everything else but my self-serving practice. My never-ending to-do list conveniently barges into the forefront of my thought, or I make an excuse that the ambiance at home or elsewhere is not quite suited for my liking. Basically, I’m seeking for the perfect time, every time, but that freedom of perfection is never going to present itself at the time I need it. I need to take back control over my mind and my agenda and remind myself of why I write.

Hence the purpose of this post – to serve as a convenient reminder for myself when I feel my life and my mind pulling away. I hope it serves you as it serves me. Cheers to your next session of therapy.